I want to start this post with a disclaimer.
Every pregnancy is different, just like every labor is different. If you are pregnant know that my experience will not be yours! Don’t allow my story to “scare you” or do anything other than higher your vibrations because of the preparation I hope to provide you.
Now with that said, let’s get in to it and all the TMI gore.
I was nothing short of prepared for labor. I went to multiple birthing classes, took multiple courses, did multiple hypnobirthing techniques and came to realize that preparation has a limited place when it comes to labor and delivery.
During my pregnancy both myself and everyone around me, including my midwife believed that our baby would be two- three weeks early.
I had every sign in the book.
At 35 weeks I was having Braxton hicks, water was randomly dripping in my underwear, I was 50% effaced by 37 weeks? Surely all of these signs were the signs to say my baby would be early.
Hm not exactly.
By 39 weeks my body completely stalled. I wasn’t dilating, the Braxton Hicks stopped. And I was completely confused.
A week shy from my due date, Easter morning I turnt on the PS5 and started to play Just Dance 2020.
For most of my pregnancy I was advised to be on bed rest, and that limited me so much with how often I would get out and walk or do any exercise.
Note: Exercise is essential when pregnant. Making sure you can stay healthy and active helps in assisting with a quicker delivery and a healthy pregnancy.
I was ready to catch up on four months worth of not excising, good idea? Definitely not! But don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go crazy hard on Just Dance but I did dance to at least three songs.
By the third song I was exhausted. And went back into my mantra mode of trusting my body to begin the process of birth when it was ready. I took a bath. Got ready for bed.
By midnight that night, I had period type cramps and refused to pay attention to it because I was so sure it was either a false alarm or the repercussion of me playing just dance.
It was the Monday morning. I woke up with similar cramps that felt little more intense but not enough for me to pay attention to.
Until I went in the bathroom and saw mucus mixed with blood in my underwear.
This is new
I thought to myself.
But I didn’t want to tell my husband because we was heading to a drs appointment anyway, and surely if this was it, they would know.
And that they did.
After my midwife checked me, it turnt out not only was I dilated but I was loosing my mucus plug.
Maybe labor was officially around the corner.
We went back to do an ultra sound to check my fluid levels and that was when the ultrasound tec called in our midwife and 3 other staff members came in.
The baby’s amniotic fluid levels were low.
My water must have broke the night before- more than likely when I was in the bath, and I had no idea.
Our baby was no longer on the way, but due to come that day or the following!
Heres a brief side note for all pregnant women:
Always. And I mean Always, carry your bag and the baby’s bag to your drs appointments, especially once you’re in the third trimester.
My journey to having my baby in my arms had started. I was no longer trying to get pregnant or dealing with the woes of pregnancy, our baby was finally about to make her grand entrance.
While my husband was ecstatic I began reciting mantras in my mind:
You are strong.
You are a woman.
I trust my body to birth this baby.
I devote my labor back to God.
I trust my birthing process.
We got our bag and arrived to hospital. We called my doula and although I wasn’t able to labor at home like expected, I created a home in my labor room.
It was 1:00pm when we arrived and the nurse came in to check my cervix. I was still the exact cm dilated with the same effacement.
I tried not to let that discourage me because, it had only been like 2 hours, surely labor would proceed to move along further little slower because it was my first child.
Three hours passed. My contractions were definitely stronger and as I watched them on the monitor, they were lasting longer to.
I had my labor playlist ready but I wasn’t in enough pain to head to that yet.I told myself I’d know when the time was that I would need the distraction and encouragement of mediative music and a dash of hype-man island and African music to center me.
4 hours.
5 hours.
6 hours
By hour 7 and 8 I was exhausted, and began to exhaust options to that could help keep me going.
By hour 9 my husband was stunned that I was still going medicine free and rocking out each contraction with no help from anything other than my mind. I was prepared for labor. Mentally I prepared for the pain but more so the endurance.
But by hour 10, something changed.
The room was covered in exhaustion. My husband and doula were my powerhouse by they were tired. Mentally I was beginning to feel the same.
Hour 12.
The nurse checked me. Again.
Between hour 1 and 13 there were no changes. Non to my cervix and I was barely dilating.
Hour 13.
I was no longer hungry. My desire for anything other than getting this baby out, was zero.
My playlist became a must.
I was riding each contraction as a wave as they became stronger and stronger.
My nurses and doula told me that my contractions were now at transition phase and were getting much stronger and even more consistent.
It was hour 16. More contractions. More pain and no medication.
The more tired I became the more my mind was no longer my advocate but my adversary.
“You can’t do this Steph.”
“Your body has failed you.”
As each cynical thought crossed my mind it became hard to stay focused on my playlist or the beauty of what my body was doing. All I could feel was pain, and all I could think about was the pain.
It was late. Between hour 20-22 and I was ready for the nurse to check my cervix again.
Surely by this point I’d be ready to push. The contractions were running to close and too strong for so long that there was no way I wasn’t ready to push!
The nurse checked me, and as she checked the pain grew even more intense.
She looked at my doula and looked at me. I could feel the disappointment and regret she had before she even spoke.
There was no change.
Within minutes my midwife. The best midwife. Rebecca Walker, came in and reassured me of how much of champion I was for going so long without medicine, but because I wasn’t progressing and the level of pain I was in everyone was becoming worried I wouldn’t have the strength to push when the time came.
I sat on the bed and looked I was feeling all types of confused. But also extremely disappointed in my body but I was too tired to not agree.
I got the epidural.
I was so scared but it wasn’t as bad as I thought and definitely wasn’t as bad as the contractions.
I lied on the bed, trying to prepare myself to relax to finally push and see my baby.
As I began to relax, that was when multiple nurses ran in to the room. I watched my daughters oxygen levels depleat and was warned that the next step, if this her levels dropped again would be a C section.
I was so confused.
How was this happening and after all my preparation, how were things going so left?
I sat in the bed and cried as I stared at the clock. My husband rushed to my side and began to affirm me, as my midwife told me that everything would be okay.
I couldn’t hear anything apart from the loud sound of my daughter not being okay.
We were prepped for surgery.
After over a day of laboring. Our daughter was born at 10:47, April 6th, weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces.
I learnt so much from my birth. For weeks and even while writing this post, it’s hard for me to ignore the trauma that followed from such a long labor and early postpartum.
From suffering a terrible allergic reaction to oxytocin, to doing this with my family being 4,000 plus miles away. It was hard.
Yet even in what was a hard experience came so much knowledge!
I realized that life is no respecter of your plan, and that’s okay, having the mindset to be open to where the universe and God directs us is what makes the journey of life wild, and exciting.
I planned to tell a story of how the perfect birth plan can lead to the perfect birth, but instead I believe I was blessed with story much better.
A story of how the perfect birth doesn’t necessarily have to abide by a plan.
Now don’t get me wrong, don’t not plan the labor you want because you think things won’t go as planned. Just be flexible with your planning and trust that the best birth for you will be the birth that you experience.
