12 Weeks postpartum
“I made it!’ Those were the first words that came to mind when I woke up and realized I was 12 weeks postpartum and doing more than just surviving, me and my baby were thriving.
The thing is, it wasn’t always like this, and that’s what this blog post is about. Read on to learn more about my postpartum blues and fears and how I overcame them.
“I never realized the strength I had until I had you!”- a note 2 Alína-Dior.
C-section recovery
Postpartum is hard without the extra stress of recovering from a major surgery. The first days of me leaving the hospital I left with a majorly painful incision and a terrible allergic reaction to an unknown drug. I was covered in the most itchy and gross looking rash, while healing from my C-Section and looking after a new born- it was wild!
But by week 6 I can honestly say, I began to see the sun on the horizon, or at least I thought it was.
bye bye breastfeeding
Like most new moms, I had a love hate relationship with breastfeeding. But as soon as I got use to all the nipple balms and cracked nipple woes, I fell in love with the bond me and my daughter created as she nursed. I loved that I was a huge factor in supplying her with the adequate nutrition she needed. I never wanted that to end, and I couldn’t picture myself feeding Alína any other way. Until I had no choice.
For the first 6 weeks of life, Alína was extremely fussy. She would cry uncontrollably with no real signs of showing what would comfort her. My gut consistently told me something was wrong, but after speaking with multiple pediatricians and being told she was ok and just gassy, I worked tirelessly to help her feel better.
By the end of the 6 week mark, Alína’s crying worsened because of an unknown discomfort. My daughter was admitted into hospital and was there for seven days. She was diagnosed with gastroenteritis and a milk protein allergy that was so severe her colon and intestines were swollen. That was what was causing the agony for my poor angel.
Long story short, we had the option of changing her formula to Elecare, or I would need to do a complete elimination diet of no soy, gluten, or dairy. I was told by multiple drs how hard the elimination diet would be and how it would potentially effect my milk production, but after falling in love with breastfeeding, I couldn’t imagine not doing it, so I tried the elimination diet.
We left the hospital and within two – three weeks, the elimination diet depleted my milk, the drs were right – go figure. At that point, I had no choice but to switch to formula.
I felt this awful guilt.
I felt horrible for my milk hurting my daughter in the first place, and I felt even worse because of how much I complained about the pain of breastfeeding to begin with.
I was falling to rock bottom, quickly!
It took a while, but after weeks of feeling guilty, I began to consciously stop myself from seeing anything other than gratitude when I looked at my daughter.Everyday I worked to replaced my guilt with gratitude.
That was far from easy but as I tried to changed my perspective of my journey, I began to realized how blessed I was.
One of the best realizations I had was that my intuition works. My instinct showed me that my daughter wasn’t just gassy or a fussy baby, but something was up. I may not have known what, but I knew something was wrong.
Learning of my daughters milk protein allergy has given me the wisdom and strength to not just trust my gut alarm, but work to show other new moms that knowing your baby is possible, even with no experience of previous kids.
"Trust your instinct and know that your best IS enough!"
choking or seizure?
Hold up, wait a minute, y’all thought I was finished?
Nope, sadly not.
By week 8, just a week or so after Alína left the hospital, we later experienced what we at first thought was a seizure. After being put down for her afternoon nap, Alína woke up crying and had excessive salvia coming from her mouth. Out of no where Alína stopped crying and began to viciously grasp for air. She went from crying uncontrollably too now shaking and staring at me and her dad helplessly.
We called 911 and later came to find out Alína suffered from terrible reflux which was causing a concerning amount of choking. I felt helpless, and still do. 12 weeks old, Alína is on meds for her reflux and has had several hospital appointments to hammer down the potential other issues causing the reflux to be as aggressive as it is. #IWillKeepUPosted.
more about my 12 week old
Needless to say, we experienced a significant amount of doom and gloom in my daughters first few weeks of life.
But even in the midst of that, we still have so much to celebrate.
Alína is beyond strong, super funny and has the most infectious personality already!
Rested, Refreshed, Rejuvenated
When Alína first got home I was in complete momma bear mode for 6 weeks. I was in complete fear of my little girl getting sick, and after she left the hospital my fears had the biggest hold on me.
But God has a funny way of causing what you fear to come right in the midst of your situation to bring you back to trust.
A few weeks after Alína was in hospital myself and my husband received an amazing opportunity to head out to Las Vegas.
After everything that happened, I became so afraid to see my daughter in any kind of pain and the thought of flying her across state during COVID season, had my anxiety high!
But I grew the trust, and I did it. We had a great time and Alína came back to Knoxville extremely healthy, happy, and unharmed.
"My Sweet 12 Week Princess- U make me brave."
A Thank You Note To Aliína.
Thank you for finally learning to sleep through the nights, your 12 weeks and I feel so blessed to have a 12 week old that loves sleeping as much as I do. You are amazing, and mommy loves that trait in you #KeepItUp.
Thank you for loving nature like I do and enjoying random strolls in the neighborhood even when I can tell you rather chill inside and chew your hands.
Thank you for making mornings my favorite! I use to hate waking up early but having the chance to wake up to you and daddy smiling and playing is the biggest gift God has gave me.
Thank you for those precious giggles and conversations you never fail to have with me no matter how much I make you cry when changing your diaper.
Thank you for being an unknowingly large part of how much more I love your dad, just for giving me you.
Thank you for being the happiest part of my present and the brightest part of my future.
I love You.
Mom
Xox
